Letter to Someone

Dear Amazon,
You are simply marvelous!  I can find anything and everything on your site.  The other day my Amazon order included:  a leather bench, a black slip, a Judo book, a new Wii controller and a new book directly loaded onto my Kindle.  That is awesome!  To run around town and buy all those things with my kids in tow would have been a nightmare.  Instead I made my order with a glass of Merlot in my hand while my kids slept.

Thanks,
Happy Shopper


Dear Lady at Ralphs,
Originally I thought the reason you didn't put all your cases of varied soda on the conveyor belt was because they were heavy.  So when the checker asked you to put them up and you said "no" I figured I'd offer to help.  Which I did.  But you shot down my gesture of kindness and told the cashier to just go against policy and scan one case several times.  She finally relented and did scan it.  You were rude, I tried to help, you didn't want my help...whatever.  But then after you already paid and had all your items back in your cart you remembered a coupon that you didn't give to the checker so you insisted she give you .84 cents in change.  OMG lady you already held up the line long enough and I have a two-year old in my cart and just want to be done.  Nope, you stayed firm until you got your nickels and dimes. Lucky for you my daughter was in a good mood and didn't get antsy because if she had started melting down I would have let her and then blamed you.

Sincerely,
Your Fellow Ralphs customer


Dear Florida,
Joe and I will see you soon!  I'm very excited to buy myself a couple of beachy items to show you next month.  I'm sure you will appreciate them.  I'm thinking a bright colored dress, floppy hat and new bathing suit.  Which reminds me...
                     Dear 5 extra pounds, you guys are not joining me in Florida.  See ya!
Oh, and Florida I'm looking forward to the drinks, beach, Cuban-inspired side of you because I will be sans kids so I do NOT want to see anything related to Disney.

Cheers!
The girl in the coral colored dress